We knew it would happen. Goofy Police Blotter entries seem to be picking up as the weather calms down. Daffodil pollen, perhaps. I've ignored some that seem to keep coming from the same neighborhood, day after day. Let's just say I plan to steer clear of Honey Mushroom Lane, for awhile (where ever that is), until the Hatfields and McCoys are all safely locked away.
Meanwhile, here are some peeks into the lighter side of the seamy underbelly of Nevada County this week:
"8:06 a.m.--A caller from a school on the 400 block of Searls Avenue reported daffodils were vandalized. [A big deal, around here. NOBODY messes with the daffodils!]
"11:19 p.m.--A an called from the 300 block of Bennett Street to report he needed to be taken to jail because he was violating the terms of his probation by drinking alcohol. Police arrested the 35-year-old man on suspicion of violating probation." [Around here, the police are really just a taxi service...they just wait for the law-breakers to call for a ride.]
"1:31 p.m.--A caller from a business on the 800 block of South Auburn St. said a disgruntled customer was opening the mailbox and going through the mail." [The best revenge--steal their unopened credit card promotions!]
"11:56 a.m.--A caller reported two juvenile males were walking through an empty lot at Leduc Street and Whiting Street. One was carrying a bat, and the other was carrying a saw." [Perhaps they were on their way to a baseball/barnraising, uh, event]
"8:27 a.m.--A woman called from the 500 block of Silva Avenue to report finding three ant traps on her upper deck, which were not there the day before. The woman believed someone used a ladder to do it. The upper deck is only accessible from the outside by ladder. [Dastardly! What better proof of the decline of Western Civilization as we knew it!]
"1:28 p.m.--A caller from Tumbling Creed Road reported his 12-year-old son told him someone tried to enter the residence at 11:30 a.m., and he was stabbed with a fork after hitting the person with a baseball bat. A deputy took a report for attempted burglary and assault. Upon further investigation Wednesday, deputies determined the event had not actually occurred." [the kid has a future in tabloid journalism]
"2:38 p.m.--A man called from Gautier Drive to report a 12-year-old boy was home alone and shot a BB gun toward her residence. A deputy determined the event was about some chickens roaming in the neighborhood. Animal Control was notified." [What about 12-year-old-boy Control?]
"5:10 p.m.--A caller reported hearing about a dozen gun shots coming from the area of Nevada Union High School on Ridge Road. Police arrived to find a track meet in progress. The shots may have been fired to start the races." [ya think?]
"1:17 p.m.--A caller from the Broad Street overpass wanted to file a complaint about the peace protesters blocking the sidewalk on the overpass." [We say, "Let peace have a chance!", unless there's any inconvenience involved, of course...]
[This made it to the front page of the Union, somehow...]
"1:45 p.m.--A caller from the 200 block of Mill Street reported a man with red suspenders had his pants down behind the library." [faulty suspender clips? Perhaps we don't need to know...]
"2:43 p.m.--A caller reported losing teeth in Fairfield." [sure. We'll get right on that. Um, it's about 100 miles from here. Was this person laughing too hard on the Jelly Belly Factory tour, or what?]
I don't think I'm going out on a limb, here, when I suspect that there are more of these out there where these came from. Stay tuned...
