Holy Handcuffs, Batman! We're buried in Blotter Bits!
Hurry! Biff! Pow! Krak! Get typing, Robin!
"11:47 a.m.--A 6-year-old boy called 911 to report his father left him with his grandfather and he was locked in his room with nothing to eat. Police contacted the boy and advised him of the proper use of 911." [something tells me it's not the kid's first "time out"]
"6:23 a.m.--A man called from the 100 block of Ruby Ledge Court to report that when he went outside in the morning, he found an extra bag of garbage next to his garbage can. Police determined the bag contained garbage." [I guess you can be too careful...]
"7 p.m.--A caller from the 700 block of Sutton Way reported a friend who has not been seen since she walked into a local pharmacy. The missing woman then informed police she had returned home and was OK." [The caller, on the other hand...]
"3:45 p.m.--A caller from a Nevada City Highway business reported a man at a business parking lot got out of a vehicle with no pants on, got into the back and put a pair of knit shorts on. The man told responding officers he was unaware anyone was watching him." [How embarrassing! Who wears knit shorts?]
"11:33 a.m.--A threatening email left on a person's Web site was reported from the 16800 block of Indian Springs Road." [Quick! Get an APB out for someone in the, uh, world with a computer...]
"8:56 a.m.--A woman reported her neighbor on the 12000 block of Polaris Drive was stealing water from her NID [Nevada Irrigation District] connection. A deputy took a report for malicious injury to [wait for it...] a reservoir." [Couldn't resist. A first, for me]
"8:33 a.m.--A woman called from the 13000 block of Ridge Road to report the possible theft of Christmas decorations. She said she saw some reindeer that looked like hers in her neighbor's backyard. A deputy determined the claim was unfounded." [Strange, since most Christmas decorations are so unique...]
"5:29 a.m.--a caller from Greenhorn Road reported a person on a motorcycle was messing with mailboxes. The CHP responded and determined everything was fine. The person was a newspaper carrier." [Neighborhood Watch program run amok]
"12:42 p.m.--A man calling from the 14100 block of Mount Auburn Circle said he woke up about 45 minutes before with a strange woman in his bed. The caller said he was intoxicated [no kidding] and had no idea how the woman got into his residence. He said he had been drinking for the past day and didn't exactly know how much he had had to drink. He then stated there were multiple people in the house, including transsexuals. Responding deputies found nothing and will refer the case to the man's son." [Dad's colorful OZ will be turning back to into Kansas...]
"6:12 p.m.--A man called from the 16000 block of Oscar Drive saying he though someone had been inside his residence and canceled his vacation booked online. Nothing else in the residence had been disturbed, he said." [Curious. I guess there must be thieves out there just to steal people's fun]
"10:30 a.m.--A caller reported that a man with a backpack was lighting incense and waving it around Church Street. Police could not find the man." [Just another concerned citizen trying to improve air quality]
"10:42 a.m.--A caller said vandals smeared peanut butter on her property at Pleasant hill Road and suspects it might be a neighbor." [I'm trying to pictures this...]
Well, Batman. That's about half of 'em. Kaboom! Smack!
It's enough, Robin.
