"3:23 p.m.--A man walked into the library downtown who was angry and yelled that he had to return to the military." ["I've got it! I need a reference librarian!"]
"9:47 a.m.--A caller from the 400 block of Henderson Street said broken walnut shells on her porch indicated an intruder the night before." [No way could it have been, say, a squirrel...]
"4:00 a.m.--A woman called from the 11000 block of Lower Circle Drive reporting that she found a flag made from a T-shirt on her front yard. She requested extra patrol." [A sure sign of impending mayhem--T-shirt-on-a-stick]
"10:52 a.m.--A caller from the 18000 block of Fair Oaks Drive reported activities happening in a residence involving 'young males who are wearing the same color clothes'. A deputy contacted the caller." [No way this doesn't mean trouble. Probably the latest sighting of the Soccer Team Marauders]
"5:19 p.m.--A woman called from the 11000 block of Via Vista to report she has a restraining order against people who were in her mother's room doing 'medical things.' The caller's mother also had a restraining order against the caller. They all live in the same house. The woman called back to say she still was being harassed. A deputy contacted the caller. [You know the deputies were drawing straws on this one]
"12:23 p.m.--A man called from School Street to report a man was flipping children off." [...was it just after he locked up his classroom and was it the last day of school?]
"5:13 p.m.--A caller from Frontage Road off McKnight Way reported an emu was in the road. Police chased the emu and cornered it until Animal Control responded and took the emu into custody. It was unknown where the emu was from." [I only print this one because it seems such emu shenanigans are not uncommon in these parts...here's another...]
"11:55 a.m.--A large emu was reported running amuck (sic) on Freeman Lane. Officers caught the animal. [who knew emus were such the rascals?]
"4:22 p.m.--A woman reported the building department attempted to blackmail her." [What do you suppose the "building department" saw her doing?]
"3:33 p.m.--A man walked into a business on the 200 block of Neal Street and started saying extremely negative things about women to the employees. The man had gray hair, missing teeth and was dressed as a cowboy. The man left but said he would come back for dinner." [I'm pretty sure he got really great service]
And, have I posted this site before? Sometimes I just have to marvel at, uh, well, you know, brain oddness. http://www.stuffonmycat.com/
