If there were a Police Blotter Olympics (and I think there should be!), Nevada County would be the dark horse from, say, Suriname that unexpectedly nearly medals. There would be the touching back story about triumph over difficult circumstances (some sort of mining accident in the family) and amazing strength of character to seek out quirky behavior in the midst of a seemingly sleepy, inherently law-abiding culture (...soft focus amongst pine trees...)
"6:21 p.m.--A man with a beard and no clothes was reported walking down Pleasant Valley Road. Deputies were unable to locate the man. [Let's hope it was a very long beard]
"2:48 a.m.--Loud music with a bass drum was reported from the 100 block of Berryhill Drive. Responding officers found a toddler making the disturbance. [I want a pair of the kind of earplugs those parents must have been using..]
"3:00 p.m.--A man in the lobby from the 100 block of Murphy Street reported finding several vegetables in his yard, possibly fired from a potato gun. The man said he filed a report because he was afraid his dogs could be injured by future flying produce." [one of the neighbors just trying to cope with the extra zucchini--I've been there]
"At 9:56 a.m.--Tuesday, a caller from the 300 block of Sutton Way called Grass Valley Police to report his vehicle had been vandalized with barbecue sauce. The day before, another resident reported suspicious vegetables to police." [Classic escalation, veggies to bbq sauce...they'd better catch these guys before they--oh, no! Too late! See next entry...]
"5:56 a.m.--A caller from the 100 block of Alta Street reported her house had been toilet-papered, egged and tomatoed." [An all-out, city-wide food fight has broken out! Only the SWAT unit of the American Chef's Association can save us, now...]
"10:39 p.m.--A caller from the 1000 block of Sutton Way reported two girls dressed as livestock pushing each other around the parking lot in shopping carts." [a sure sign of the Apocalypse...]
"2:44 p.m.--A woman from the 13000 block of Greenhorn reported her neighbors were breaking into her house and stealing her clothes and hair ties." [How many times do we have to repeat, "lock up your hair ties, people!"]
"11:10 p.m.--A man was seen in downtown Nevada City wearing green boxer shorts with his pants up around his head." [I can't even quite imagine...does it sound like a Super-Wedgy, to you?...]
"1:47 a.m.--A caller from the 200 block of Willow Valley Road reported hearing a strange cat in her yard." [it better have been an endangered Clouded Leopard, or some such...]
