You may know some of these kinds of people. They have yards that other, less focused and less diligent people (like us) will actually pay to walk through, they're so beautiful. You don't see these folks around town because they are always--what?-- working in their gardens. Somehow, the Soroptimists find them, though. And organize a little tour for which they sell tickets--to people who have time because they are not working in their gardens (again, like us). Last weekend, we trekked all over Nevada County to gawk at eight such time-sink marvels of horticulture. It was a lovely day, complete with a picnic in the park, and only a tiny bit of guilt. Here, garnished with a few Blotter Bits (thanks to other locals who find creative ways to spend their time), are some pictures of our Garden Tour Day:
"9:41 p.m.--A woman from the 19000 block of Deer Hollow Way reported her husband's leg was stuck in the railing of the banister and was starting to swell. Alcohol was involved. Calfire responded. [Wonder if they tried the ol' Vaseline trick, first]
"9:17 p.m.--A man from McKnight Way reported a tall person wearing a hat who approached his wife and wanted to spray perfume on her. The wife jumped in her car and fled. Police told the subjects that they could not sell perfume without a permit." [Who knew? And what kind of perfume gets that kind of reaction? Essence of Spitting Cobra?]
"9:31. p.m.--A man called police from a pay phone on 300 Broad St. to report the older Russian woman he was out with needed a ride to Banner Mountain." [classy dating maneuver]
"8:14 a.m.--A woman from the 11000 block of Lime Kiln Road reported her daughter was in "one of her moods," but was now laying down." [and I'm sure everything will be just fine when she gets up and finds out that her mom called the cops on her...]
"8:34 p.m.--A caller from West Main Street reported a jackhammer. It was PG&E fixing a gas line break." [uh, well, maybe the guy'd been assaulted by a, um, jackhammer once upon a time...]
"7:23 p.m.--A caller from the 600 block of South Auburn Street reported a 3 1/2' [yes, "foot"] iguana had gotten loose." [so, whether or not to tell the neighbors...]
"7:46 a.m.--A man from the 300 block of Mill Street reported an argument over where to place a computer and hutch. He was warned not to call again." [after the cops told him where to place it--all part of the service]
"7:30 p.m.--A woman from Ophir and Bennett Streets reported a man was following her and saying, 'Jennifer, I'm still in love with you.' The woman said her name isn't Jennifer and she doesn't know the man. He was advised to stay away." [if Jennifer's got half a brain, she's moved to Wisconsin, by now]
"8:18 p.m.--A man from the 10000 block of Pheasant Lane reported his friend had been in the hospital with stomach pain two days ago, and how wanted to make hot dogs and chili. He didn't think she should, and wanted to know how he could prevent her from doing so. He was advised to let her do what she wanted and call if she had more stomach pain. At 1:57 a.m., a caller reported a woman at that address passed out in a vehicle. It was found to not be a medical issue, but due to a verbal dispute." [provide your own snarky comment here-this one makes me tired: ]
"11:51 a.m.--A caller from Yah Way and Perimeter Road reported a man yelling at the top of his lungs, threatening to kill all the neighbors." [A legit call, I guess, but I was amused by the street name]
[and here's one for the books:]
"4:11 p.m.--A man came to the police station to apologize to the Grass Valley Police Department 'for all of his inconveniences' and thanked the P.D. for arresting him and helping him (turn) his life around." [struck dumb, I'm guessing they were]
