...of Police Blotter Bits! Yipes! It's like when you don't keep an eye on the zucchini plant and suddenly you have enough to force on your neighbors for miles around! Been so distracted with the election, and all...
So, what have some of the good folks of Nevada County been up to, lately (see if you can guess which ones happened on Halloween)?
"8:58 p.m.--A 911 cellular phone caller from Chief Kelly Drive reported five to six teenagers with toilet paper." [Seriously. So suspicious! Besides, they're probably just off to visit a friend with intestinal distress...]
"10:27 p.m.--An intoxicated man from the 16700 block of Countrywood Lane reported a "criminal" had just entered his home. The "criminal" got on the phone and said the caller was too drunk to remember him as a friend." [Do you think they'll have a good "laugh" about this later?]
"'8:08 a.m.--A caller in the 12000 block of Palmer Road reported that someone had taken their patriarchal blessing and graduation certificate and checks, but that no checks had ever been used." [Who leaves their patriarchal blessing just lying around for anyone to grab?]
"11:23 p.m.--A caller in the 10000 block of East Empire Street reported his father was sleepwalking with sheers in his hands and was in the front yard attempting to prune the shrubs. Officers contacted the sleepwalker, who wasn't sleepwalking anymore and was going to bed." [Why wake him up? Hand him a rake. Plus, it's such a good call to involve the police, who are the undisputed experts in the field of sleep disturbances...]
"12:15 p.m.--A woman in the lobby of the sheriff's office said she needed help apprehending and sending her friend to Hawaii." [Get in line, lady. The police are very busy at the moment helping with a surprise party, and then there's the car rally, which will be such a hoot...]
"3:09 p.m.--A caller in the 10000 block of Yuba Crest Drive reported that she was assaulted by a female. The caller was a process server who said she had an unknown object thrown at her face, and she denied the need for medical attention. The caller later reported the item was a muffin." [...and she denied medical attention?]
"5:11 p.m.--A caller at the Salvation Army siad a 45-year-old man was in the business taking his clothes off. Rudy was arrested on suspicion of lewd and obscene conduct." [When you're on a first-name basis with the Police Blotter, it might be time to be movin' on...]
"10:43 p.m.--A woman requested a welfare check on her boyfriend on the 18000 block of River Ranch Road whom she had last heard from at 6:30 a.m. She said he might be out four-wheeling, and she didn't want to drive up from Sacramento unless he was home." [Certainly, ma'am. We're all about making sure you are not inconvenienced. Perhaps we'll even call in the choppers and CDF trucks...]
"10:07 p.m.--A caller from the 200 block of Richardson Street reported a bald man wearing a dress was seen running toward North Church Street, yelling for his purse back." [Well, when you've got the perfectly-matching shoes...]
"7:28 p.m.--A caller from the 300 block of Alta Street reported the residence was open and items were strewn all over the inside. The reporter was standing by in a white shirt and fake blood." [Good to know...]
"9:18 a.m.--A caller came to the lobby at the Grass Valley Police Department and requested an officer contact after she alleged her children, who were at the movies, were jumped by Lindsay Lohan and Andre the Giant. The reporting person alleged Lohan was running a prostitution ring in Hollywood." [Those Two! Never quite know where they'll pop up next in their epic crime spree...]
Well, that's about half of 'em. More soon...
